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A Few Pages out of My Old Diary
“Mark’s Diary,
The very first page…
Saturday, April 8, 1977
Hi my name is Mark. I am 11 years old. I live with my Mummy in our house. Dad left mum when i was 5.
I smile at my reading and I skip a few pages…
Sunday February 4th 1979
I started sleeping in bed with my Mum, which she likes. It is comfort for both of us, since I have nightmares often. Mum says that sleeping in bed together keeps her company. Also, when it gets cold, we cuddle to warm up. I love cuddling with my Mum.
I skip a load of pages…
Saturday October 9th 1979
Last night, I was in bed with my Mum when I woke up startled by a strange dream and a funny feeling – I had my first wet dream. I felt myself feeling really good. I had woken up just as I started to notice I was peeing the bed. I wasn’t dreaming anymore. I panicked that I was wetting the bed and quickly woke my mum. She pulled down the sheets only to look me in my eyes and say that this was normal. She told me to remove my pajama shorts which embarrassed me a bit. She quickly grabbed some tissues and cleaned me up, but it felt very weird when she started handling my still erect güvenilir illegal bahis siteleri penis and gently squeezing the contents into the tissues. I felt so ashamed at what was occurring but it also felt amazing how she touched my penis. I feel go guilty right now.
Sunday, October 17th 1979
Mum’s been acting differently toward me ever since that incident last weekend in bed. I was terrified that she would tell my friends or her friends of what happened with me in bed. I keep feeling ashamed when her friends are over, and I was scared to bring my own friends to our home. Will she tell her friends I wet the bed?
Friday, March 4th 1980
Before we were about to sleep last night, Mum gave me this sad look. She said that my penis is deformed, and asked whether I masturbate much. When I asked her what masturbate was, she laughed. She told me to lower my shorts. She said that my penis was curved when it should be straight. She said she will talk to her Doctor and everything will be okay.
Sunday, August 7th, 1980
It’s getting so weird that Mum wants to keep checking my penis to see whether I was actually deformed. I let güvenilir bahis şirketleri her take my shorts off. This time, she immediately started touching me in a way as to produce an erection to my penis. I felt embarrassed when my body started responding and became aroused. She started talking to me about intercourse and, I guess, trying to give me that sex talk that my teachers say our parents will give us. She held my hand and took me into the bathroom, she sat me down on the toilet and gets out a bottle of baby oil which she puts on my erect penis and starts to masturbate me. She told me this is what boys do. This feels very good. I started to panic as I felt this rising pressure. I told my mum I had to pee and she responded by grabbing some tissues with her other hand and held them at the tip of my penis as I started to ejaculate.
Saturday, August 27th, 1980
I felt like my Mum has some kind of power over me. She kept up the teasing and would often open the door when I was in the bathroom and asked if I ‘needed any help.’ Last night, I was masturbating in the bathroom when my mum knocked on the door and again asked if canlı bahis şirketleri I needed help. I couldn’t stop myself; I went to the door and let her in.
Sunday, April 2nd, 1981
My Mum still masturbates me several times a week. I would accompany her to bed in the evening and already be aroused knowing that she would pull down my pajama bottoms or boxers, the minute I got into bed.
Tuesday, July 15th, 1981
I haven’t written here for a few months. I got myself a paper round! I give half my wages to my Mum, and keep the other half.
Whenever I give Mum money, she will get excited, and again will take me into the bathroom and masturbate me. But lastnight after I gave my Mum money, she went onto her knees, pulled down my jeans and underwear, and put her mouth over my penis. I felt so disgusted but at the same time, the feelings felt so good. I ejaculated into my Mum’s mouth, I felt so weak. She opened her mouth, and there was nothing there. She swallowed my sperm, and smiled.
I close my diary and try to think clearly. My Mum. What do I need to do? I don’t know what to think anymore, life feels so weird. I’m married, have two k**s, a wonderful wife, but my Mum was part of my life for so long. She was a single mother, worked hard, and just needed someone she can benefit from. She… loved… me… She didn’t give up after Dad left her, she tried to ignore it, and just needed someone who she can share her highs, lows, and fun with. That person was me.
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